“Where Did You Take Your Urine?”

I’ve been getting diagnostic testing done to determine whether I have an autoimmune or autoinflammatory disorder. So far, some abnormal test results, but no diagnosis.

I had a follow-up appointment with a specialist today.  [I was hoping for a diagnosis.]  We were supposed to go over the test results. However, not all of the results have been returned to the specialist. The 24-hr urine collection sample had to be sent to the Mayo Clinic because they have the only lab in the US that can do some of the tests I needed.  And the results are M.I.A.

My doctor left the exam room, and returned with her nurse, saying, “This is my awesome nurse, [NAME].” I said, “Hello, awesome nurse [NAME]!” The nurse smiled, and responded, “Where did you take your urine?”

And even though I understood she meant, “Where did you deliver your urine sample, so we can start tracing it and hopefully get the test results?,” I couldn’t help but pause before responding, because what I was thinking was, “Now there’s a sentence I’ll bet you never thought you’d say before you became a nurse!”

And I also had to resist the urge to respond sarcastically with a list of all the cool places I had taken my urine: amusement park, carnival, swimming pool…

Once my inner dialogue had run its course, I responded with the name of the lab near my home to which I had delivered my specimen, so that they could ship it to the Mayo Clinic.

Hopefully we will be able to track down my test results.  I would prefer not to do the 24-hr collection again.

In the meantime, here’s hoping no one asks you: “Where did you take your urine?”