Taboos: Talking/Not Talking About Money and Health

Today I was reading a new-to-me blog, and I was struck by an interesting thought. The blogger was talking about her near-death experience, but she chose not to reveal what her medical diagnosis was. I see that a lot on blogs. In fact, I’ve probably been cagey about some of my conditions as well.

Health, it seems, is one of the last things we don’t discuss in public.

Crew Dog, One Sick Vet

The fact that she chose not to reveal her diagnosis is interesting to me for several reasons. First, because she is a personal finance blogger, and they’re known for talking openly about another taboo subject – money. Second, she chose not to reveal her diagnosis even though she blogs anonymously. Third, as someone who is chronically ill myself, I always wonder what the unnamed condition is, and whether I can personally identify with/learn from this other person when I come across such a blog post.

So why don’t we blog more transparently about our health? How much of it is influenced by the ableist paradigm that is dominant in our societies? In the U.S., where I live, people are very uncomfortable talking (or even thinking) about illness, disability, or death.

While I will admit that it can be very tedious when someone traps you in a conversation in which they go on and on and on about every excruciating detail of their health issues, the great thing about a blog is that, if you don’t like, aren’t interested in, or find a certain post boring or uncomfortable, you don’t have to read it. You’re not trapped in the conversation (monologue).

Why else might someone choose not to discuss their health, or not to reveal their diagnoses/conditions? I’ve been thinking about this one a lot. And I think one concern is that social media can be used against the content provider. What do I mean, specifically? There might be an underlying fear that information provided on social media could be used against the individual by the healthcare insurer.

In the same way that job applicants occasionally find themselves not receiving job offers or having offers revoked, and students applying for higher education occasionally find themselves not receiving school admissions, or having offers revoked, due to content they have posted on social media, patients might fear that insurers could use information about their health or daily lives provided on social media to disapprove treatments, medications, or coverage.

Don’t believe that could happen? I’ve heard many chronically ill people state that their applications for disability were denied because a picture or a statement on social media was used as evidence that their condition was not as disabling as they claimed.

Like the Brady Bunch episode “Fender Benders,” in which a man unscrupulously tries to claim car and physical damages which were not caused by the minor car accident, but is exposed in the nick of time as a fraud when Mr. Brady drops his briefcase on the floor and the man turns his neck at the sound, proving his injury is false, people seem skeptical about any chronic illness or disability and they seem eager to disprove these conditions.

Don’t believe me? How many cases have you seen in social media of everyday citizens shaming someone for parking in a disabled parking spot because they can’t see the disability, or don’t believe the individual is really disabled, or because they “look too young to be disabled,” or even shaming a woman for parking in a disabled veterans designated parking spot – news flash, women are veterans too.

How many posts or memes have you seen shaming a person in a wheelchair or on a scooter for standing up to reach something off a higher shelf in a store? I’ve seen them. They usually say something like, “Look, it’s a miracle! They can stand!” Well, guess what? Not everyone who needs to use mobility aids is a quadriplegic, or even a paraplegic. Not everyone has visible signs of their chronic illness or disability. And you, average, everyday citizen, are not the disability police.

But what about the people whose actual job it is to process disability claims or investigate for insurance fraud? Would you be surprised to learn that most of them do not have medical degrees or training? Most of them aren’t chronically ill or disabled either. So why are they the ones making life-altering decisions affecting healthcare and finances of chronically ill and disabled individuals? For that matter, most DOCTORS don’t understand chronic illness or disability. So even placing medical personnel in these positions might not alter the outcomes. Their job is not to weigh the evidence and reach an accurate and fair decision – their job is to save the company (or the government) money. By denying claims. Denying coverage. Denying medications. Denying treatments.

In personal finance blogging, you can write about whatever you want, and no one will appear and take away your investments or your pension (should you be lucky enough to have one). The worst thing that could probably happen is that the IRS might decide to audit you in response to something you wrote in a post.

But in chronic illness/disability blogging, the stakes are much higher. Because, unless you’re able to pay cash for the medications, treatments, and consultations you need, you’re always vulnerable to your healthcare provider/insurer. You’re always vulnerable to them denying payment, or denying coverage, or terminating your coverage.

“Unless you’re able to pay cash for the medications, treatments, and consultations you need, you’re always vulnerable to your healthcare provider/insurer.” – One Sick Vet, onesickvet.com

The costs of healthcare are getting higher and higher, and institutions and organizations are looking to cut costs by reducing coverage and denying coverage. Many organizations have reduced healthcare costs by hiring mostly part-time employees with no healthcare benefits. Retirees with company healthcare benefits are finding the premiums going up and up in retirement.

So you can understand why a blogger might choose not to reveal their diagnoses, their conditions, publicly. Even if they’re not concerned that you would “look at them differently” after that, even if they decide they don’t care that they could be labelled and seen as “nothing more” than their disability, the biggest fear is that they would always be wondering, “Is something I casually share going to affect my healthcare coverage?”

It’s easy to see a person in a wheelchair stand up and think “They’re not really disabled.” Or to see a picture of someone outside and think, “See, there they are, doing the thing they said they couldn’t do. I knew they were lying.” But what you don’t see is the 20 minutes (or longer) that wheelchair user sat in the parking lot trying to get up the energy to get back into their vehicle, because they used all of their energy to stand up in the store and reach the thing they needed or really wanted, which was located out of their reach. You don’t see that the person who was outside doing the thing had been in bed for days beforehand, storing up as much energy as possible, and will be in bed for days afterward to recover from having done the thing. You don’t see the vomiting, diarrhea, migraines, inability to breathe, and other effects that come from exposure to your fragrances, and so you conclude, “See, they’re not *really* allergic to fragrances! I wore some and they were fine.”

There’s a lot you don’t see, and we probably would never tell you (unless asked compassionately), because we don’t want to be that person described above who traps you in a conversation about our illness, disability, or special needs that you’re not interested in hearing about. But just because you don’t see, or hear, or understand something doesn’t mean it isn’t real or true. And just because you see or hear something doesn’t mean the conclusions you draw from it are true or accurate.

So am I apprehensive to share on my blog that I have chronic, intractable migraines, in case you also hear or see that I eat chocolate? Does it make me a “faker” and threaten my healthcare coverage that I eat chocolate, because “everyone knows” that chocolate is a migraine trigger? No. Because EVERYONE’S BODY IS DIFFERENT. I happen to be able to eat moderate amounts of chocolate without getting a migraine. That does not mean that I don’t have chronic, intractable migraines. I do. I was diagnosed over twenty years ago. No medications helped (until Botox). In fact, because everyone’s bodies are different, one of the primary classes of medications given to migraine patients is contraindicated in my case. The supporting evidence that Botox significantly improves my quality of life is much greater than the supporting evidence (mostly anecdotal) that chocolate triggers migraines. That’s a health condition I’m willing to reveal, and a fight I’m prepared to fight.

Even though migraine is a woefully under-researched condition, and the condition is still little understood, there is sufficient evidence to defend my diagnosis, course of treatment, and personal behaviors. I have other heath issues that are even less understood, probably because they are even less researched.

These issues I have been more reluctant to talk about on this blog, for several reasons. First and foremost, I do not want to foster or spread false information. If I claim to have a condition, and I state certain things work for me, and then it turns out that’s not really what I had after all, I might have provided incorrect information to you. [Even though I AM NOT A DOCTOR, and anything I share on this blog is for entertainment or informational purposes only.] Second, since I don’t have diagnoses for these conditions, I don’t have research to guide my actions or defend my actions. I could be inadvertently jeopardizing my healthcare coverage if I say things on this blog that could cause a provider or insurer to disbelieve my physical limitations or to deny coverage or treatments. [Update since the original draft: I have received several more diagnoses from medical specialists, and may mostly have all my conditions diagnosed now.]

After all, if I talk about doing something, being active, in someone’s mind that means I’m not “really” chronically ill or disabled, right? You don’t see the two times I lost an entire year of my life to illness, and did nothing more than move from the bed to couch and from the couch to the bed (most days – some days/months I stayed in bed, or lived on the couch 24/7.)

Tanja Hester at Our Next Life is a big proponent for transparency in the FIRE [Financial Independence, Retire Early] community. As I understand her position, she believes that FIRE social influencers should be transparent about their sources of income and about whether their financial independence and/or early retirement statuses are due to the techniques and actions they espouse on their blogs/podcasts/channels, or whether there are supplemental sources of income such as inheritances or income from social media outlets that have enabled or supported their lifestyles. IOW, is what they recommend to others and assert they have done themselves replicable*? If you followed their advice, could you achieve the same result? [This transparency can be achieved whether one blogs anonymously or whether one’s identity is public knowledge.] *[See here for an interesting scientific article on the terms repeatability, replicability, and reproducibility.]

I applaud Tanja’s efforts to encourage the personal finance industry (or, more specifically the FIRE community) to be transparent about their recommendations and their outcomes (in scientific terms, their methodologies and results), so that others are not misled by purported results that are not replicable.

Since every human body is different, you could argue that replicability is difficult to impossible in human health. And yet, scientific experiments (like drug trials) do achieve replicable results that apply to a majority of human beings. But there are also typically outliers and exceptions. Research shows that there also may be differential results attributed to racial differences with some medications (see here and here for two medical articles discussing this topic).

So, can one blog transparently about personal health? Yes, I think so. In case I have not stated so publicly before, I do my best to present information on this blog that is scientifically-based, and to cite [link to] my sources. I don’t ask you to take my word for it – in fact, I prefer you to do your own research, your own due diligence, regarding anything discussed here.

When someone personally testifies that they tried a health product or a technique and it worked for them, you have an experiment that may or may not have been conducted scientifically and that is comprised of a sample size of 1 (possibly a few more if a partner or children are also included in the experiment). But when a research study or clinical trial is cited as evidence, you can read the study, report, or article for yourself and evaluate the methodology, samples, data, and conclusions for yourself. If a health technique or product has been tested multiple times, with a large number of participants, and the results have been primarily favorable, then the odds of it working favorably for you are much greater.

I pledge to write about personal health transparently, such that I will always cite the sources for the information I am sharing, and I will distinguish between scientifically-based and non-scientifically-based sources. I will present my own experiences accurately, and let you draw your own conclusions.

Crew Dog, One Sick Vet

Addendum: Since I originally drafted this post, healthcare has become even more fraught in the United States. Governing bodies are being decimated. Benefits are being slashed. Scientific evidence is being undermined. Chronically ill and disabled people are publicly mocked. Nevertheless, I will do my best to provide scientific evidence for information I share on this blog and all other platforms. And I will continue to share my thoughts and experiences.

If you want to join the conversation, let’s use the tag #TalkAboutDisability.

Chronic Illness: What’s in the Bag?

A popular topic of conversation on Disability Twitter is what we carry with us when we leave our homes to help manage our conditions. Recently, my cousin asked me the same question, so I thought I’d show you all what I take with me whenever I leave my house.

[Note: I try to find small containers to use inside my bag/pack whenever possible, because ounces become pounds when you’re carrying a bag/pack for a long time.]

Safe soap. I repurposed a small spray cylinder by emptying it, cleaning it, and filling it with a soap that is safe for me to use. I react to the commercial soaps available in public bathrooms, so carrying my own soap with me allows me to wash my hands when I’m away from home.

Alcohol wipes. These have a multitude of uses, including sanitizing my hands and inhaling the vapors as an anti-nausea technique. Since I am allergic to hand sanitizer, this is what I use as an antiseptic. They’re also useful for cleaning my hands/face when I have been exposed to an allergen.

Water bottle. I actually carry two. An 800ml (27 ounce) bottle filled with filtered water for drinking, and a 12 ounce bottle filled with 8 ounces of filtered water for mixing with a medicine that requires diluting. [An 8 ounce water bottle would be more efficient and take up less room, but I couldn’t find one.]

Tissues. For runny noses, etc.

Lip balm. For dry lips.

Sunscreen. A small container of safe unscented sunscreen, meaning I don’t react to any of the ingredients. I use a mineral/barrier sunscreen for my face.

Foam ear plugs. Good for loud movies, etc. I keep a pair in a purpose-built container My Boomer Parent got at an air show. You could find something similar online. Ear plug holders are also often available at military uniform stores.

Rescue medicines. I always have migraine rescue medicines in my bag in case I have a migraine flare while I am out. I also carry Epi-Pens with me due to the risk of an anaphylactic reaction that comes with my MCAS (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome.) Additionally, I always carry Benadryl liquid-gels to treat mast cell reactions.

I wanted other people to be able to easily find my Epi-Pens in an emergency, so I found this clear case online and added a sticker I also found online.

Daily medicines. If I’m going to be gone during a time I need to take my daily medications, I make sure I have them with me. If there is any chance I might be delayed and be out when I am due to take my evening meds, I take a dose of them with me.

OTC (over the counter) medicines. The basics: NSAID; pain reliever; antacid.

Safe snacks. I carry raw almonds because they are good for a long time and don’t have to be temperature-controlled. A protein snack helps when I am getting a migraine flare. If I’m going to be gone all day, I’ll often take an RxBar as well. The carbs give me an energy boost.

Electrolytes. I often find that taking electrolytes helps reduce a migraine flare or mast cell symptoms. I prefer a brand that comes in capsules, which I can easily wash down with water. No muss, no fuss.

Ink pen. I carry an ink pen with me that has a grip that I can comfortably use.

Small notepad. So I can write things down, because my memory’s not as good as it used to be.

Sunglasses. A necessity for migraineurs.

Face mask. I carried (and used) face masks long before the pandemic, to help avoid inhaling fragrances. I use a cloth N-95 mask.

Cefaly. If I’m going to be gone all day, I take my Cefaly device with me in case I experience a migraine flare. This device stimulates the vagus nerve and helps reduce or eliminate migraine pain. I have a Cefaly Dual, which is much smaller than the original. It’s easy to take it with me in its protective case.

The Basics: phone; wallet; keys

{I would have included more pictures, but Word Press wouldn’t upload more than one for some reason.]

What do you take with you when you leave the house?

Getting Really Real About Chronic Debilitating Illness: Sometimes We Need Help

I’ve been reading a new (to me) blog this week, written by a person with multiple chronic debilitating conditions.

This post, in particular, struck a chord.

So few people understand how isolating a chronic illness or other disability can be – especially if it includes severe allergic reactions to “everyday” substances like fragrances, chemicals, dust, dander, mold, pollen, or food.

As a disabled person’s world shrinks, their social network, family, and close friends becomes ever more important, if they are so fortunate as to have any or all of these.  In the author’s words:

Having our basic needs met makes the difference between living well with pain and illness and merely existing.

I am very grateful for all that Spousal Unit does for me, even on the days when I feel too awful to express my gratitude or affection.

I still fight, many days, to live well rather than merely existing.  Without Spousal Unit’s care and assistance, I’m not sure how long I would even continue to exist – basic needs like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, or getting to doctor’s appointments are often just too difficult to accomplish by myself.

Who do you know that might be isolated?  Falling through the cracks?  Barely keeping their head above water, or a roof over their head?  How can you help?

A text, an email, a call, a card, a visit – all mean the world to someone who’s “shut in” and isolated.

A ride to the grocery store, or to a doctor’s appointment, could mean the difference between living well and not eating nutritious meals or not getting necessary healthcare.

Offer to pick up something from the drug store, or grocery store, or a restaurant for them.  Or give them a gift card for Wal-Mart or Amazon or someone else who delivers goods they need to their door.

It’s too easy to become too busy and not make the time to help others.  You can’t do it all, but try to find ways to help someone else who can barely do anything.  It might mean the difference to them between living well, merely existing, or ceasing to exist at all.

P.S.  Sometimes non-disabled folks need love too.

What It’s Like to Have a Visual Migraine (Scintillating Scotoma)

[This video, created by the Mayo Clinic, shows one representation of what a visual migraine, or scintillating scotoma, can look like.  Not all scintillating scotomas look like this, and they are not always associated with a migraine.]

WARNING: If you have no history of migraine headaches and you experience a scintillating scotoma, you should see your doctor, as this can be a sign of a serious health condition.

Scintillating scotomas are pretty trippy.  I’m glad I had read about them before one ever happened to me, or I might have been very concerned the first time I had one.

For people who have migraine with aura, there are other physical symptoms that go along with the excruciating headache.  A migraine is NOT just a “really bad headache” – it is a neurological event that can manifest in many different ways, such as cognitive impairment (brain fog) or dysfunction (unable to remember words); numbness, weakness, or tingling of body parts; balance and coordination problems; nausea; vomiting; fatigue; sensitivity to noise, light, odors, or touch; etc.

Please do not violate Wheaton’s Law and tell someone who suffers from migraines that you “sometimes get really bad headaches too.”  But I digress…

One symptom of migraine aura that some people are familiar with is visual disturbances.  These can be pretty spectacular.  [See some examples here. (No product endorsement implied.)]

Although I have had migraines for more than 15 years, I have only had 4 scintillating scotomas.  (In other words, it is not a common part of my migraine aura symptoms.)  The last two I have had happened while I was using my computer.  They began with slight blurriness – I wasn’t sure if my eyes were just tired, or my glasses were smudged, or something.  The blurriness starts out in a very small area, maybe the size of a dime in my field of view (but just on one side).

As I am determining what is causing the blurriness, I begin to notice that it’s actually a small blind spot.  And then when it begins to shimmer (usually at the same time I’m noticing the blind spot), I know for sure that I’m beginning to experience a scintillating scotoma.

Again, everyone’s experience is a bit different, but mine typically begin near the bottom of my field of view, and gradually the affected area expands and also moves slowly from the bottom of my field of view to the top of my field of view, then moves so far up that I can’t see it anymore.

I have experienced scintillating scotomas in each eye (they’re actually happening in my brain, but I’m describing the visual representation I perceive), but my scotomas never appear to be in the center of my field of view, or as if they are affecting both eyes at once.

In addition to the increasing blind spot and surrounding shimmering, I typically see jagged, zigzag designs around the perimeter of the spot.  My last scotoma was more bold geometric shapes than zigzags.  This portion of the image is colorful (reds, blues, greens, yellows), whereas the shimmery part is white/silver.

People who experience scintillating scotomas often describe the shape as a “backwards C.”  And I have had scotomas shaped like that.  But I think the shapes can vary.  My last one seemed more circular, with the shapes all the way around it, rather than just on one side.

The scotoma itself is not painful, in my experience.  Of course, it does disrupt whatever you are attempting to do visually.  (I had my first one right after sliding behind the steering wheel of the car one day – just sat there at the side of the road until it passed.)

The first two I experienced only lasted 10-15 minutes, but the last two have been closer to a half hour.  I find that I can see them better in the dark, and they’re really entertaining to watch (I guess I’m easily amused), so I now go into a dark room, lie back, close my eyes, and watch the show.

Of course, I typically get a raging migraine headache afterward, so I also take my migraine treatment medications at the beginning of the scotoma experience.  That’s trippy too – try walking through your house to get to your medicine cabinet with a blind spot in your field of view and possibly some balance issues too.  Then try finding your meds and taking them when you can’t really see what you’re doing due to an enlarging blind spot.

After a scintillating scotoma, some people get migraine headaches, some people don’t get the headache every time, and some people feel very weak or tired.

After the event, my vision returns to normal, although everything may seem a little blurry for a little while right afterward.  Since it’s actually happening in your brain, there are no effects on your actual eyes.

During my most recent scotoma, the headache actually started during the scotoma, and my tinnitus got very loud as well during the scotoma, but then decreased significantly afterward.  After the shimmering part and the colored shapes had disappeared, I still had a blind spot for about 5 minutes.  Then some general blurriness, and then my vision was basically normal, although I was very light-sensitive due to the migraine.

Again, blind spots can be caused by other things, such as a retinal or optical nerve issue, so please talk to your doctor if you experience a scintillating scotoma, or a non-scintillating scotoma.

But if you experience scintillating scotoma as part of a migraine prodrome, you can probably just take your migraine treatment drugs, relax, and enjoy the show before the headache begins.  That’s been my experience, anyway.

What have your experiences with scintillating scotoma been like?

 

Sometimes the Stars Align – But You Still Have to Check Your Six

Just a quick update to explain why it’s been so quiet on the blog this month.

I finally had the “do-over” for the surgical procedure that was cancelled when I had the allergic reaction to the antiseptic.

Because I had lost confidence in the VA hospital, I switched from handling this procedure through the VA to handling it through Tricare.

In an interesting twist of fate, my new doctor has the same rare allergy that I do, which meant I didn’t have to worry about accidental exposure to that substance in the operating room.  Bonus!

However, as it turns out, I still had to remain extremely vigilant.  Although my allergy is clearly marked in my records, few people seem to understand how this allergy translates to real life, which results in interactions such as these:

[Scene: Pre-Surgery area]

Nurse 1:  Hi, I’m Nurse NAME, and I’ll be going over your paperwork with you today.  How did you clean prior to surgery?

Me:  I took a shower last night and a shower this morning.

Nurse 1: With soap and water?

Me: Yes.

Nurse 1: Were you given the pre-surgery paperwork suggesting you cleanse with Hibicleans prior to surgery?

Me: Yes.

Nurse 1: And did you follow those procedures?

Me [mildly sarcastically]:  No.  I’m allergic to Chlorhexidine, so I thought that would be a bad idea.

Nurse 1: Oh.

[Note: This means that the military hospital gave me a standard pre-surgery paperwork package instructing me to clean myself at home with a substance to which I have a documented allergy.  There is apparently no control in the hospital procedures for this mistake.]

[Scene: Pre-Surgery area.  Later…]

Nurse 2 (LPN): Ok, I’m here to get you prepped for surgery.  Do you have any allergies?

Me: Yes, I’m allergic to Chlorhexidine.

Nurse 2: Ok, I see that in your chart.  I’ll write that on your wristband.  [Writes on wristband, and attaches it to my arm.]  Ok, now I’m going to insert your IV. [Opens IV kit.]

Me:  Are you going to use an alcohol wipe to clean the site?

Nurse 2: No, I’m going to use the wipes in the IV kit – Chloraprep wipes.

Me [Firmly]: No, you’re not.  I’m allergic to those.

Nurse 2: Really?

Me: Yes.  They contain Chlorhexidine.

Nurse 2: Oh. …  Ok, I guess I’ll go find some alcohol wipes.

[Note: This indicates that the hospital does not have special IV kits for individuals with Chlorhexidine allergies, which is somewhat understandable given that it is a rare allergy.  However, it also indicates that medical personnel are inadequately trained on Chlorhexidine allergies and required modifications to standard procedures.]

Bottom Line: Given the lack of awareness by medical personnel of Chlorhexidine allergy (an antiseptic widely and frequently used in the medical field) and its practical implications (changes to materials used in standard procedures), I am deeply grateful that my surgeon has the same rare allergy and could maintain a safe environment for me in the operating room.  I am particularly grateful for that given that (1) I had to be extremely vigilant to avoid exposure (and another allergic reaction and cancelled surgery) prior to surgery, and (2) I could not maintain vigilance in the OR since I was anesthetized.

If you have a similar rare medical allergy, please learn as much as you can about sources of exposure, and be very cautious to avoid exposure in medical environments.  Do not rely on medical personnel being informed and aware – they probably aren’t.

Note: Check Your Six is an aviation term meaning to watch for attacks from behind.  It more broadly means to be situationally aware and to maintain vigilance.

Crew Dog and the Case of the Faulty Health Paradigm

A paradigm is a model or example of something, or the framework or mindset we use to understand or make sense of things.  When we subscribe to a paradigm, it often means that we choose to see things in only that way.  What do you see when you look at the picture above?  Can you see it in more than one way?*

Often, in business, we hear people talk about a paradigm shift, which means accepting a new way of looking at or thinking about things.  The opposite of a paradigm shift is paradigm paralysis, which is “the inability or refusal to see beyond the current models of thinking.”

I was stuck in a paradigm, or suffered from paradigm paralysis about an aspect of my health for many years, and it basically took a whack upside the head (figuratively speaking) to make me change that paradigm.

The paradigm I was stuck in was this: I don’t have allergies.

I never had any health problems when I was growing up.  I was blessed with excellent health until my mid-thirties.  I didn’t wheeze and sneeze like the people in the allergy commercials.  Surely I didn’t have allergies.

Not only did I believe that I had no allergies, but the one time I went to a (military) doctor because I wasn’t feeling well and I described my eyes as “itchy” the doctor quickly reprimanded me to never say that, because itchy eyes were a symptom of allergies and aircrew could not have allergies.  Since I didn’t want to lose my aircrew status, I never again described my eyes as itchy.

Years later, I started having very concerning symptoms.  I suddenly developed vertigo, which was quite alarming.  I was sitting in a chair reading when, out of nowhere, it felt like I did a front cartwheel.  My inner gyros completely tumbled.  I felt like I had moved violently, even though I hadn’t moved at all.  I dropped my book, grabbed the arms of my chair, and tried to figure out what the heck had just happened.

As it turned out, it took quite a while to figure that out.  I saw lots of specialists during that time.  I had diagnostic tests to rule out brain tumors, inner ear tumors, and…allergies.  The allergist administered a skin prick test, left me sitting in the waiting room far too long, and had trouble reading the results on my arm.  I, of course, didn’t think I had any allergies, and wasn’t expecting them to find anything during this test.  I had noticed one area on my arm react strongly, but the allergist smugly informed me that that particular area had been the control – it was pricked with histamine.  Of course I had reacted to that, I was told disdainfully.

The allergist peered at my arm, ran their fingers over and over the area, and finally pronounced that I was probably allergic to birch trees and penicillium mold.  I asked if that meant I was allergic to penicillin (it runs in my family).  The allergist said it was possible.  [I learned many years later that being allergic to penicillium mold *does not* mean you will be allergic to penicillin the antibiotic.]**

I asked about the allergy to birch trees, and was told to just avoid being around them.  I was given no other information or guidance.***  I decided the allergist wasn’t very competent, and went on with my life.

Next I developed frequent excruciating headaches.  Eventually the headaches and the exclusion of other causes led to a diagnosis of migraines and migraine associated vertigo.

I began to learn about migraine triggers – things that can contribute to having a migraine, such as barometric pressure changes; bright, flashing, or fluorescent lights; and foods.  People with migraines have reported that they were more likely to have migraines after eating certain foods, although not everyone responds to all of the same foods.

Known culprits are red wine; aged cheeses; processed meats; chocolate; citrus fruits; and foods containing MSG or aspartame.  (There are more, but these are some of the biggest culprits.)

I started eliminating many of these foods from my diet, and my symptoms abated somewhat.

During this time, I had also developed a perpetually stuffy nose that seemed to get worse prior to and during a migraine.  I saw an ENT, and was diagnosed with chronic sinusitis.  For years afterward, whenever I mentioned to a new doctor that it seemed to be linked to the migraines, I was told that stuffy nose was not a migraine symptom, and the doctor ignored that symptom.

Fifteen years after my trip to the allergist, I had an allergic reaction to a medicine (Chlorhexidine) I was administered in a hospital.  Since Chlorhexidine is an antibiotic that is widely used as an antiseptic and disinfectant in medicine, dentistry, and  in pharmaceutical and cosmetic products, I figured I’d better see an allergist to discuss how I was going to avoid Chlorhexidine for the rest of my life.  I also wanted to know if I was allergic to any other antibiotics, since I still didn’t know whether I was allergic to penicillin or not.

This allergist was very thorough, and asked me a lot of diagnostic questions.  We discussed my Chlorhexidine allergy.  And then he said, “You probably also have a mold allergy.”

Here’s where the paradigm paralysis makes me look pretty stupid.  Even though I had been diagnosed with an allergy to penicillium mold, and even though I had known for years that I was sensitive to mold in my environment (moldy basements, moldy government buildings, water-damaged areas in homes), it had never occurred to me that I was *allergic* to mold (because I don’t have allergies).

I didn’t even know that mold was a common allergen.

I told the allergist that I had never even considered that I might have allergies, because “aircrew don’t have allergies.”  He laughed, and said, “At least, not until after they’ve retired, right?”

My new allergist gave me a mold elimination diet to follow, for diagnostic purposes.  It sounds crazy, ‘cuz we don’t go around knowingly eating mold, right?  Well, actually…  That penicillium mold I’m allergic to?  It’s used to create Brie and Camembert cheeses.  Two of my favorites, that I started eating right around the time my migraines became frequent and have been eating ever since – because the first allergist *never told me* I should stop eating them!

Penicillium mold is also used to create “veiny” cheeses, including Roquefort, Blue, Gorgonzola, Stilton, etc.  While I ate these cheeses much less frequently, I did like to have Gorgonzola (often found in four-cheese blend) on my pasta.  Fortunately, these cheeses  were all categorized as “aged” cheeses, which I had eliminated from my diet early on because they are known migraine triggers.

Back to the mold elimination diet: Anything pickled, fermented, cured, aged, or cultured contains mold.  Dried products (fruit, nuts, coffee, tea) may also be contaminated with mold.

The cultured yogurt that I was eating because it contained “good” bacteria and was good for my health – was making me sick.  Before I began the mold elimination diet, I ate yogurt for breakfast one last time and my nose got so stuffy that I had to breathe through my mouth.

After three days on the mold elimination diet I could breathe better than I had in fifteen years.

After two weeks on the mold elimination diet, I felt better than I had in many years.  My energy level was much higher, and the incidences of “brain fog” were much lower.

I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that the mold elimination diet prohibits me for eating every food that is a known migraine trigger.  I am currently exploring the possibility that my migraines are linked to this underlying allergy.  [Update: see this Migraine diet]

I have subsequently returned to the allergist for two rounds of testing: skin prick and injection (blog post to follow).  Of the identified 100,000 types of mold (there are 1.5 million, but many are unidentified), there are allergy testing samples for 15 types.  I reacted to Penicillium and Aspergillus, which are both common indoor molds.

My allergist tells me that it is less common to do allergen elimination diets these days, particularly for something like a mold allergy.  In fact, it’s hard to find much information about mold elimination diet on the internet (see below).  I’m glad I happened to get an allergist who had this in his “bag of tricks,” because this diet has already had a radical impact on my health.

Are there assumptions or paradigms about your health that might be false?  If you are dealing with a chronic health condition and you haven’t had success treating it, it may be time to go back and challenge previous assumptions and paradigms.  After all, I “knew” I didn’t have allergies…

*This is a classic perception image.  You might see a duck facing left or a rabbit facing right.  Many people have trouble being able to see both, or switching from seeing one to seeing the other.

**NOTE: For more information on Penicillium mold, and supporting data that “hypersensitivity to Penicillium mold bears no relationship with hypersensitivity to the antibiotic Penicillin,” see this article.

*** My new allergist informed me that if you are allergic to birch trees, you may have cross-reactions to certain foods, including celery, apples, or carrots.

NOTE: For more information on mold in general, see these Centers for Disease Control (CDC) FAQs.

NOTE: For more information on mold allergy, see this page on the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America website or this page (and associated pages) on the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology website.

NOTE: For more information on the mold elimination diet, see this example.  [This is not my allergist or ENT and I am not endorsing this practice or being compensated by them in any way.]

P.S. – Have I had a mold allergy my whole life, and just didn’t know it?  Or did it develop in adulthood?  I don’t know.  Either is possible, although adult-onset seems more likely, given the lack of symptoms prior to my thirties.  Here’s a good article on adult-onset allergies and asthma.  [Again, this is not my allergist and I am not endorsing this practice or being compensated by them in any way.]

Things I Never Knew Before I Had a Debilitating Health Condition

burnout-384086_1920 copy

When I began living with a chronic health condition, I thought I was learning what it was like to not be perfectly healthy.

After years of having excellent health, I was starting to understand physical limitations (I thought).

I was more sympathetic of others who had dietary restrictions (and I was grateful when other people were sympathetic of my dietary restrictions).  I was more aware of physical limitations, and therefore more sensitive to people who have them and ways to make environments more accessible to folks who are differently-abled.  I thought my health condition was making me a better person by making me more aware of others’ realities.

Then my health condition became debilitating, and I learned there was a big difference (at least in my case) between chronic and debilitating.

With a chronic health condition I could still live a fairly normal life, with some restrictions and modifications.  With a debilitating health condition, I rarely leave the house, except to go to doctor’s appointments.

When my health condition became debilitating, I learned there was still a lot I didn’t know about physical limitations and other people’s realities.

In the hopes that others might get a better idea of what it’s like, I made a list of things I never knew before I had a debilitating health condition:

I never knew I would choose to stay home and miss an opportunity to socialize because it was too much work to figure out what clothes to wear in public.

I never knew there would be days (weeks?) that I didn’t have the energy to change out of my pajamas.

I never knew how exhausting it could be to take a shower.

I never knew I could lack the energy to prepare a simple meal like scrambled eggs.

I never knew that some foods could be too exhausting to eat, and that some days all I would have the energy to eat would be foods like soup, apple sauce, macaroni & cheese, or ice cream, that require minimal processing.  (Easy to prepare, easy to chew, easy to digest.)

I never knew that I wouldn’t be able to deal with phone calls, and I would just let them go to voice mail, which I would delete every few months when I got tired of the icon blinking at me.

I never knew that it could take too much energy to sit up, so I’d have to lie on the couch instead.

I never knew that leaving my house to go to a doctor’s appointment, to socialize, or to run an errand could take so much out of me that it could take days to recover.

I never knew that I could be so exhausted that I wouldn’t have the energy to fight for my health – that I would ignore incorrect bills or live with health problems rather than fight with the system to correct these things, because I didn’t have any fight left in me.

I never knew that when I got this ill none of my friends would notice, and  I would become more and more isolated.

Call to Action: If you have a friend with a debilitating health condition, don’t let them fall through the cracks!  Ask yourself, “When is the last time I saw/heard from this person?”  Everyone gets busy, and it’s easy to go a while without contacting your friends, especially if they don’t answer their phone.

Texts, emails, or Facebook messages are a great way to keep in touch with a friend with a debilitating health condition.

Other ways you can help your friend: Ask them if there’s something you can pick up for them while you’re out running your errands.  Saving them a trip to a store can be a great kindness.  Or bring by something for them to eat that they don’t have to prepare themselves (microwave meal, home-cooked, deli, take-out – anything that is easy and within their dietary restrictions).  Even fresh fruit or a veggie tray is a great treat for someone who doesn’t get to the store very often.

Finally, make some time to visit your friend (please coordinate with them first – they might not be dressed!).  They probably won’t have the energy for a long visit, so stopping by wouldn’t take much of your time, but they would most likely appreciate the company.

Debilitating health conditions can be isolating and can lead to depression – Be a good Wingman/Battle Buddy and keep an eye on your friend.  They may not be able to help themselves.  Don’t let them fade away.