Author: Crew Dog

Desert Storm era veteran. SAC trained warrior.

Micro Walk Update: Hourly Steps

This is an update to an earlier post I wrote about micro walks, which I define as short-duration walks (I usually aim for 10 minutes) with the purpose of getting in a little exercise without aggravating my health conditions. So, you might want to read that post before you read this one. (This post would also make more sense if I had already completed and published my draft about purchasing a Fitbit, but, hey, no one’s perfect.)

As you are probably aware, Earth has been setting heat records. July 2023 was the hottest month ever recorded on Earth, and that includes South Florida, which definitely has been experiencing record-breaking heat. With overnight temperatures in the mid-to-upper 90’s, there is no time of day or night at which a walk is enjoyable (or even tolerable, depending on one’s health conditions). So I haven’t been walking. Not even micro walks.

But, as I alluded to in the first paragraph, I bought a Fitbit a couple of months ago. And *if* I ever get the post about that completed, you will read that I did it to monitor my heart, *not* because I’m jumping on a wellness bandwagon. In fact, I have been resentful of the device’s prompts to get in a minimum number of steps each hour, punching off the haptic alarm and growling at my device every hour. Until…

A friend of mine recommended a fitness influencer who discusses getting steps in indoors. And a lightbulb went off. Now, my house is small. I mean, really small by current standards. Definitely no room for a treadmill! But…my Fitbit has been nagging me to get a minimum of 250 steps per hour. And I suddenly thought: “What’s easier than a 10 minute micro walk outdoors, that requires me to put on outdoors clothes and shoes and walk in the oppressive heat? Walking around the inside of my house, as is, in the air conditioning.” So that’s what I’m doing.

Rather than getting annoyed that my fitness device is nagging me to interrupt what I am doing and get more steps, I decided to get up once an hour, when it prompts me, and get my required minimum steps – inside the house.

We’ve probably all seen the articles (or news reports) that “sitting is the new smoking,” meaning that a sedentary lifestyle is harmful to one’s health. I’ve been basically ignoring that conversation, giving myself a pass due to my health conditions. But the reality is that I still have enough health privilege that I *could* be less sedentary, especially since recent medication changes have lead to me feeling a bit better.

I want to be very clear that many in the chronically ill/disabled communities do not have that health privilege. I acknowledge that I *can* move more without harming myself, and that many of my friends and acquaintances in our communities cannot. I respect their conditions and support them in doing whatever they need to do (or not do).

For myself, this is an experiment to see how I fare when I take an hourly exercise break, focusing on completing a minimum of 250 steps per hour. I have seen no evidence to suggest that this would have the exact same effect as a 10 minute walk after meals (see previous micro walk post), but respected medical sources are unanimous that getting up and moving around hourly has health benefits (assuming one can safely do so). For example, this Yale Medicine article has useful information about the hazards of sitting and helpful tips for being a bit less sedentary. And this Harvard Health article explains that prolonged sedentary behavior can lead to insulin resistance and a decrease of the enzyme that breaks down fat in one’s bloodstream.

I see hourly movement as an easier way to get some exercise than trying to walk outdoors in this heat, and it breaks exercise into even smaller chunks than a 10 minute micro walk. So if you’re struggling with energy pacing, perhaps breaking walking up into even smaller chunks would be helpful. (And maybe don’t do it every hour – do it at whatever interval works for your condition.)

So, even though I continue to resist some of the health and wellness gimmicks such as 10,000 steps per day or competing with others online in performing fitness, I am currently hacking my health by complying with Fitbit’s hourly reminder to get up and move around a little bit. I’ll let you know how the experiment goes.

If you try it, please let us know how it worked (or didn’t work) for you.

Financial Concerns – How a U.S. government debt default would affect my military family

Right now, the U.S. political parties are at an impasse over raising the debt ceiling. According to the latest projections from the Treasury Department, the U.S. government could start defaulting on its debt as soon as 5 June (2023).

The U.S. government has never defaulted on its debt. If it were to do so now, the effects would be felt throughout the world, due in part to the use by other nations of U.S. Treasury bills and U.S. dollars. Not to mention possible effects on the U.S. stock markets and those reverberations globally.

Such brinksmanship has happened a few times previously in the U.S. And government shutdowns have also happened before (as they are threatened to possibly happen again now). But this time it feels different, for a couple of reasons.

My primary reason for concern is the bitter, unyielding, mean-spirited partisanship that we have seen on display in the Congress (and the U.S. writ large), for several years now. I no longer have confidence that politicians will be rational actors, concerned for the well-being of the nation. Instead, they prefer to fight like junkyard dogs, concerned only for their definition of “winning.”

My more immediate cause for concern is the fact that my primary bank, USAA, has previously given its members “guarantees” on their government pay during previous government shut-downs, in the form of depositing our paychecks, pensions, and disability checks as normal and making the funds available to us despite not having received the money (yet) from the government. This has been invaluable to many military families.

But USAA suffered its first ever loss last year ($1.3B net), and I don’t know whether they will again front us the money if the government shuts down, which would cause a serious liquidity issue for our family.

To be sure, USAA is not required to make funds available in our accounts which the U.S. government has not released. They have done so in the past as a courtesy. If they were unable or unwilling to do so this time, I would not hold that against them. But we would definitely have to tighten our belts!

Right now, military pension and VA disability are our only sources of income. Spousal Unit started teaching a course at the local college this year, but SU’s summer course didn’t get enough enrollment, so no teaching income this summer (right when it could matter most).

We are very fortunate that we have investments, which we could use to pay our bills, but we’d really rather not pay a higher tax bill this year because we needed to cash out some equities to cover an unexpected loss of income due to political shenanigans.

What about an emergency fund? Aren’t I always recommending one? Yes. Touché, dear reader. In fact, we had been in the process of rebuilding our emergency fund when this manufactured crisis reared its head. We currently have only 1-2 months of expenses in our emergency fund (which is still better than nothing!). The money lasting 1-2 months is predicated upon us turning off pay-in-full autopay on our credit cards (which we were using for home improvements) and only paying the minimum balances until the crisis is over.

We will also have to postpone the financial and physical help we were planning to extend to several family members this year. Financially, we can’t give what we don’t have, and the physical help would require travel plus the purchase of materials for the project, and that suddenly isn’t in the budget anymore.

Additionally, we are concerned about My Boomer Parent, who would lose their Social Security check if the government defaults on its debt and shuts down. We have always been financially secure enough to assist them until now, but losing all of our income could make us unable to help them this time. (Or, again, we could help them by dipping into our investments and paying a higher tax bill to cover government malfeasance.)

We have been living a comfortable FIRE lifestyle, cash-flowing our expenses from our secure military pension. But we have lived much more frugally in the past, so we have skills to draw upon.

Belt-tightening Measures: During the ride to my medical appointment this week, Spousal Unit and I discussed the expenses we could trim. Cable TV, which we’ve only had since I became chronically ill, would be first to go. We will also be eating down the pantry, which is full of staples like lentils, rice and beans, and the chest freezer, which is full of meat bought on sale, and only buying fresh produce from the store.

We also have some canned meat (chicken, tuna) in our pantry, as well as plenty of rice noodles. Proteins stretch further when served in dishes like soups, stews, stir-frys, casseroles, etc. [Learned that in Survival School!] So we’ll be stretching our meals with noodles, rice, beans, etc.

Thanks to a tip from the blogger known as Military Dollar, we have a stockpile of dehydrated refried beans in our pantry. They’re a great staple and we eat them at least once a week. All you have to do is add water and heat!

We can easily catch fresh fish here, which we have been eating about once a week – we can eat fish more often. We learned from Alaskans to substitute fish for other proteins in dishes like spaghetti or lasagna.

We don’t have much of a garden yet. We currently grow lemon grass, ginger, and pineapples. Growing more produce is something we’ve been wanting to do, though we don’t have much land. We will be able to harvest seagrapes once they mature late this summer. We typically make syrup from them, as we haven’t been able to make it set for jelly. We could probably also harvest coconuts from obliging neighbors. As long as we buy some limes, we should be able to prevent scurvy. 😉

We will also review our accounts for recurrent charges. We don’t have very many – we try to avoid monthly subscriptions – but it’s always good to periodically review as they can creep in.

Rainy season has begun in South Florida, so we will be watering our plants less, which should help reduce our water bill. Cutting cable TV will help with our electric bill. We have plenty of books to read, and can get more from our public library (including with the Libby app).

Other Income Streams: Spousal Unit will be teaching again in the Fall, which will bring in a little income. If necessary, they could teach more classes per semester, which would bring in more (non-federal) income. I could consider monetizing this blog. We could withdraw money from our investments. We will almost certainly use up our emergency fund.

Stop-Gap Measures: We could look at Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC) interest rates and compare them to the interest rates on our credit cards. It might be cheaper to apply for a HELOC than to run up credit card bills, if the rates are more favorable. We could also look into loans against our equities, which I know very little about, but have learned about recently. We could also turn off the “reinvest interest and dividends” option on our investments, so that these would be paid to us directly, rather than being reinvested.

To be clear, Spousal Unit and I will be okay. It’s (hopefully) just a short-term liquidity issue. Many of my chronically ill/disabled friends will feel the pain of a default/shutdown much more direly, especially the ones whom the government prevents from having assets. I am acutely aware of our privilege.

I’m blogging about this for several reasons:

  1. To reduce my stress by thinking through my options.
  2. To highlight the effects of the default/shutdown on military families (and government employees, and seniors, and the disabled, and…)
  3. To acknowledge that the current U.S. political climate is making me reconsider my retirement plan. Our military pension and VA disability benefits are not as fiscally secure as they once were.
  4. To consider the ripple effects through our family if we can’t help family members due to our own lack of financial security. A big enough crisis takes down us all.

Bottomline: Given today’s political climate, it would behoove us to increase our emergency fund to 6-12 months worth of expenses, as a shock absorber, whenever we’re able to do that. In the meantime, we’ll brush off our extreme frugality knowledge and skills and tighten out belts. We’ll also explore stop-gap liquidity measures and re-evaluate our retirement plan.

Note: While I rarely talk about politics on this blog, as this post shows: personal finance doesn’t happen in a vacuum – politics are embedded in finance and vice versa.

Note: If you, too, need to tighten your belt, and you’d like some frugal ideas, I recommend The Tightwad Gazette books (also complied in one volume now as The Complete Tightwad Gazette), written by the Frugal Zealot, Amy Dacyczyn. She’s one of the OG’s of frugality, FIRE’d *before* FIRE was a movement, *and* did it all as an enlisted member’s military spouse. Her book(s) are chock-full of great frugal ideas.

No Spend January – Results

So how did I do at not spending any discretionary income in January? Well, I did spend more than $0, but I have no regrets.

As planned, I spent discretionary income for one restaurant meal – our quarterly dinner on the way home from medical Botox injections. Spousal Unit & I thoroughly enjoyed it, as usual. [We ate in our vehicle, because we’re still not dining indoors.] We also bought lunch at the grocery store on this trip, but one could argue that belongs in the groceries category, rather than discretionary income. Either way, it’s what we do once every quarter, and I always enjoy it very much.

Other than that planned expense, I also spent discretionary income this month on presents for a couple of family members. In addition to these presents, we also paid for postage to pass along a few things we no longer use to 1. a family member and 2. a friend who wanted them. [Downsizing for the win!]

And I bought more anticavity fluoride mouthwash, which arguably would fall under a budget line item for sundries, but it is notable as the only thing I bought from Amazon this month.

So I did spend some discretionary income this No Spend January but I still consider it a win because the spending fast *did* reset the profligate mindset I had in December.

[Note: When I reconciled my credit card statement for January, it reminded me that I also spent for Patreon support of my favorite podcast, The Golden Ratio. Gotta remember those subscriptions!]

I was strongly tempted once this month to get takeout, but was saved from myself by the fact that the restaurant was closed when I attempted to place an order. (Thus leading to my discovery that they’re only open for breakfast and lunch.) Since then, I have had no major cravings for takeout.

I was also tempted several times to buy things I need/want for ongoing house renovations (which arguably are also things one could plan for in one’s budget). But I resisted because the greater goal was to reset my spending mindset.

Since I am an abstainer, once I go off the rails in December, I need a spending fast in January to get back on track. (Resetting from ALL to NOTHING.) However, it is also true that I could just set aside a designated amount to spend during the holidays and stick to my budget, and hopefully that would prevent me from getting into the SPEND mindset. Maybe I’ll try that this year.

As far as the criticism that some people manipulate the challenge by shifting their spending to the month before or the month after a no-spend month? To be fully transparent, I do intend to order some of those home renovation items in February. My goal for January was to reset my spending mindset, which I believe I have done. But the projects still need to be completed.

However, I will continue to try to resist takeout meals in February. We have house guests coming in March, so I hope to defer my eating out and entertainment spending until then.

In the mean time, we will continue to eat down the pantry, and we will continue to catch fresh seafood. It’s really not a deprivation to avoid takeout when you have the ocean’s bounty to (sustainably) enjoy.

RESULTS: I did not succeed in spending no discretionary income in January, but I spent in alignment with my values (one treat meal, presents for family, healthcare item, podcast that brings me joy).

CONCLUSION: I found that this No Spend January made me reflect on the excesses of the holidays (not only spending but also eating). I think I’ll try this year to resist the temptation to buy ALL THE THINGS and eat ALL THE THINGS by being mindful of the fact that I am an abstainer and that it is so easy for me to get derailed by the holidays, and by enacting some safeguards ahead of time to keep me from getting off track and needing to spend at least a month afterward recovering.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: I acknowledge that it is a privilege to have discretionary income, and that it is a privilege to have enough money to be able to splurge at the holidays. It is also a privilege that I did not have any emergencies come up during January to force me to spend money, discretionary or otherwise.

BOTTOMLINE: No Spend January *did* reset my spending mindset, as expected. If you are a moderator, you may not need this or find it helpful. If you are an abstainer, give it a try and see what you think. It might be just the ticket to get you back on track.

Curating our lives

We’ve still got too much stuff for our small house. So we’re sifting through it, piece by piece, item by item. To use a current buzzword, we’re “curating” our lives, winnowing down to the essentials. The things that are beautiful or useful, as William Morris said.

‘Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be beautiful or believe to be useful.’

William Morris

It’s difficult *not* to accumulate stuff in America, given our consumerist, capitalist society. Manufacturers and merchants use psychology to manipulate us, to entice us to buy more, to spend more. Growing up in a soup of advertising, we assume consumption is what one does and we influence each other to do it, reinforcing the messages we see every day.

In the early Nineties, Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin challenged us to figure out what our personal “enough” was. Their book, Your Money or Your Life, was more than just a challenge to figure out how much money you need in order to pay your bills without working. They were also challenging us to figure out how much “stuff” we really needed to be happy, and how we can focus outward instead of inward, sharing with others when we have more than enough.

How much stuff do I need to be happy? The first time I went to Saudi Arabia, we stayed in 10-person tents in very basic conditions. We each had a cot and a foot locker (to keep the rats and spiders out of our stuff). The tent had one light bulb – the entire tent was either “light” or “dark.” And the tent was an open bay – no privacy.

But over time, as we returned to this base on future trips, the accommodations gradually got somewhat upgraded. We each got a nightstand. Then we each got a small lamp for our nightstand. That felt like a huge luxury – we could each have light when we wanted it, without having to negotiate with the entire tent’s inhabitants! It felt like such a luxury. Eventually, we even got dividers for our tents, so we could each have a small private section of the tent. That meant we could grab naps when we needed them, without being disturbed by other people’s lights or noise.

We really had very little, but it felt like enough. In fact, it felt like luxury. (Those lamps – a big deal!) And when I came home from these trips, the amount of stuff I had in my house felt overwhelming. SO MUCH STUFF! Far more than the basics plus a little luxury. Far more than “enough.” Rather than making me happy, my stuff was stressing me out.

Every time, I’d vow to get rid of extraneous stuff. I wanted to have that same feeling at home as I did overseas – that I had the amount of stuff that made me grateful. But American life is also overly busy, and I’d get distracted after maybe giving away a box or two of stuff or selling a few things.

So here we are, many years later, still surrounded by too much stuff. We’ve been able to give away some things this past year to people who could really use them, which feels good. But we still have a ways to go.

Wish me luck as I use this No Spend January to reflect on my spending and face the fact (again) that I already have more than enough.

Feeling Resolute

What can I say? After years of no New Year’s resolutions, this year I’m overflowing with them. Mostly because I seem to have gotten an energy bump this January, so I’m taking advantage of it.

This particular resolution, if that’s what you want to call it, is to spend no money in January. IOW, this January I am reigning in my discretionary spending. I tend to be perhaps a little too generous/spendy during the holidays, so I find being intentional about my spending in January helps me reset that spending mindset (which is strongly encouraged and reinforced by all the holiday marketing!).

I find that I get into a mindset of not being as critical of my spending during the holidays, and this helps me reset so that I stop and think before I spend. Plus, an uber frugal January helps offset the excesses of December and get my budget back on track.

Although I got the idea from Mrs. Frugalwood’s “January Uber Frugal Month Group Challenge,” I don’t participate in her groups when I do my January reset. For me, it’s enough to know that it’s January and I’m on a spending fast. However, if group support would be helpful for you, consider joining her group challenge next year. (I don’t know if this year’s groups are still open.)

I acknowledge that it’s a privilege to have discretionary income (money left over after paying bills, buying gas & groceries, etc.). And that it’s a privilege to be able to spend freely (however one defines that) during the holidays. When I was young, my family did not have that privilege, and I am grateful for it now.

So far, it’s January 10th and I haven’t spent any money. But I will be making my quarterly trip to the VA hospital for medical Botox injections later this month, and I plan to stop for Mexican food on the way home – my quarterly treat. (AKA, one “cheat day” from my spending fast.)

Otherwise, no restaurant meals this month. (Which we’re still getting to-go, because COVID.) We’ve got plenty of food in our pantry and freezer (also a privilege), and of course we can buy groceries as part of our normal monthly expenses. And no rationalizing other discretionary spending.

Hopefully after a month of resisting the urge to spend, I can break the holiday-inspired attitude of “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.” The January uber frugal money fast usually does the trick.

[This approach works for me because I am an abstainer, not a moderator. If you are a moderator, perhaps a different approach would work for you. Or perhaps you moderate your spending during the holidays and don’t need to get back on track after the holidays because you never got off-track.]

Do you splurge over the holidays? What techniques/tricks/hacks do you use to get your budget back on track in January? Or do you set a spending budget for November/December and stick to it? Please comment below.

2023 New Year’s Resolution

You probably don’t remember me saying that I don’t typically make New Year’s resolutions, but it’s true. I make maybe one a decade, and then I usually forget all about it.

But what the heck. I feel like making one this year, however futile it may be. This year I resolve to be less hard on myself.

I’m not the person I used to be. My physical limitations prevent me from doing the things I’d like to do – the things I used to do.

I’m no longer as organized, as squared away, as I used to be. And while I still aspire to continue downsizing until I have less stuff to wrangle, I also need to find a way to be okay with the clutter in the meantime.

My memory is shot to hell. I just don’t remember things. It’s alarming and discouraging, but I’m finding ways to deal with it. I try to do things as soon as I think of them, so I don’t forget. This means that I don’t necessarily do things in an orderly fashion any more. It’s more like I see something and remember what I meant to do, so I do it right then. Then I sit down and rest. Next time I get up and move around the house, I see something else I meant to do, and then I do that. No coherence, but at least I’m still getting things done.

I also don’t batch as many errands as I used to do. I just don’t have the executive function or the energy to deal with a long list of things to accomplish in town. So I do one or two as soon as I figure out what I need, and resign myself to the fact that I’ll have to do fewer things at a time and ultimately make more trips in order to get everything done.

One of things I did in the past year or two to help with my forgetfulness was to get a password manager. I resisted getting one for a long time, but I’m finding it very helpful and I’m glad I did it. [Although I got a family account, Spousal Unit *hates* using it. That’s fine. They don’t have to use it for their stuff, but at least they know where to go look for our joint passwords if it’s an account I set up and I can’t remember the password.]

I also created a morning checklist and an evening checklist to help me remember to take my meds and do health and hygiene tasks, but I need to get into a daily practice of using them. I also should probably get a whiteboard calendar and start logging doctors appointments and such where Spousal Unit and I can both see them and keep track of them.

I hate chaos. I hate disorder. I hate clutter and untidiness. And I intend to keep working to bring order to the chaos that is our small house still overflowing with items from our larger previous house.

But, in the meantime, and from now on, I resolve to be less hard on myself about it. I am no longer the person I used to be. I cannot continue to hold myself to standards I can no longer meet. It accomplishes nothing aside from making me feel bad about myself and my situation.

I can continue to learn, to discover new hacks and accommodations that help me deal with my limitations. I can implement these techniques and use these aids. But I can also give myself grace. I can accept that I am no longer the person I was. Accept that I can no longer do the things I used to do, in the ways I used to do them.

People like to argue that anything is possible if you just believe and try hard enough. “You just need the right attitude!,” these people like to say. In the chronic illness/disability community, this is known as “toxic positivity.” The truth is, you can’t necessarily change reality through hope and hard work. Especially if you’re from a marginalized community.

I can’t become healthy and abled from wishing it so – I know, I’ve tried for years. I can’t become healthy and abled through eating right, exercising, or taking the right supplements – I’ve tried that for years too. But the toxic positivity people are right about one thing – I *can* control my attitude.

So I choose to give myself grace for my circumstances and my state of being.

Rather than chasing a pipe dream of restored health, I choose to pursue adaptation to my current health. I choose to pursue acceptance, to seek a zen-like acceptance of my reality. I choose to walk the path of the Serenity Prayer: To accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and to be able to tell the difference.

That is my resolution for 2023.

A New Year (2023)

It’s New Year’s Eve, and here is your reminder that not only is tomorrow a new year, but it’s also a new quarter. So do whatever you usually do on the first day of a new quarter – start using a new toothbrush, change your HVAC filter, check your smoke alarms – whatever.

This is your reminder to do those things.

Happy New Year! Here’s hoping 2023 will be a calmer year.

Chronic Illness: What’s in the Bag?

A popular topic of conversation on Disability Twitter is what we carry with us when we leave our homes to help manage our conditions. Recently, my cousin asked me the same question, so I thought I’d show you all what I take with me whenever I leave my house.

[Note: I try to find small containers to use inside my bag/pack whenever possible, because ounces become pounds when you’re carrying a bag/pack for a long time.]

Safe soap. I repurposed a small spray cylinder by emptying it, cleaning it, and filling it with a soap that is safe for me to use. I react to the commercial soaps available in public bathrooms, so carrying my own soap with me allows me to wash my hands when I’m away from home.

Alcohol wipes. These have a multitude of uses, including sanitizing my hands and inhaling the vapors as an anti-nausea technique. Since I am allergic to hand sanitizer, this is what I use as an antiseptic. They’re also useful for cleaning my hands/face when I have been exposed to an allergen.

Water bottle. I actually carry two. An 800ml (27 ounce) bottle filled with filtered water for drinking, and a 12 ounce bottle filled with 8 ounces of filtered water for mixing with a medicine that requires diluting. [An 8 ounce water bottle would be more efficient and take up less room, but I couldn’t find one.]

Tissues. For runny noses, etc.

Lip balm. For dry lips.

Sunscreen. A small container of safe unscented sunscreen, meaning I don’t react to any of the ingredients. I use a mineral/barrier sunscreen for my face.

Foam ear plugs. Good for loud movies, etc. I keep a pair in a purpose-built container My Boomer Parent got at an air show. You could find something similar online. Ear plug holders are also often available at military uniform stores.

Rescue medicines. I always have migraine rescue medicines in my bag in case I have a migraine flare while I am out. I also carry Epi-Pens with me due to the risk of an anaphylactic reaction that comes with my MCAS (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome.) Additionally, I always carry Benadryl liquid-gels to treat mast cell reactions.

I wanted other people to be able to easily find my Epi-Pens in an emergency, so I found this clear case online and added a sticker I also found online.

Daily medicines. If I’m going to be gone during a time I need to take my daily medications, I make sure I have them with me. If there is any chance I might be delayed and be out when I am due to take my evening meds, I take a dose of them with me.

OTC (over the counter) medicines. The basics: NSAID; pain reliever; antacid.

Safe snacks. I carry raw almonds because they are good for a long time and don’t have to be temperature-controlled. A protein snack helps when I am getting a migraine flare. If I’m going to be gone all day, I’ll often take an RxBar as well. The carbs give me an energy boost.

Electrolytes. I often find that taking electrolytes helps reduce a migraine flare or mast cell symptoms. I prefer a brand that comes in capsules, which I can easily wash down with water. No muss, no fuss.

Ink pen. I carry an ink pen with me that has a grip that I can comfortably use.

Small notepad. So I can write things down, because my memory’s not as good as it used to be.

Sunglasses. A necessity for migraineurs.

Face mask. I carried (and used) face masks long before the pandemic, to help avoid inhaling fragrances. I use a cloth N-95 mask.

Cefaly. If I’m going to be gone all day, I take my Cefaly device with me in case I experience a migraine flare. This device stimulates the vagus nerve and helps reduce or eliminate migraine pain. I have a Cefaly Dual, which is much smaller than the original. It’s easy to take it with me in its protective case.

The Basics: phone; wallet; keys

{I would have included more pictures, but Word Press wouldn’t upload more than one for some reason.]

What do you take with you when you leave the house?

Now We Are Six: On Reaching My Sixth Year of Blogging

Image of a birthday candle in the shape of the number six with colored dots inside a red outline .

Today is the 6th anniversary of my first blog post. I’m still here, but the blog has not grown at all. I have a lot of complicated feelings about that.

Anyway. I originally intended this blog to be a source of scientifically-supported wellness information. I wanted to provide the information I couldn’t find on the internet about what specific medical procedures were like from the patient’s point-of-view. As I lost faith in traditional medicine, I wanted to know whether alternative therapies were scientifically tested, and whether they were worth the time and money. I still do want to know these things and to provide this information.

But, over time, I stopped thinking of myself as someone who was temporarily ill and who could be healed if I could just find the right cure. I realized that chronic illness is not the same as acute illness – often there are no cures and there may not even be effective treatments (traditional *or* alternative).

In my search for answers, I found online chronic illness/disability groups. They helped me improve my quality of life. And they taught me that it was okay for me to identify as chronically ill and disabled. This identity shift, in turn, has changed my perspective on many other things. I now see the ableism that is present in so much of the wellness industry, and the internalized ableism within myself. American society strongly preferences the abled. In an age of advanced medicine, Americans are no longer accustomed to death or disability, and they’re not comfortable acknowledging it. Even during a global pandemic, death and disability are being ignored.

The reason I bring this up is because you may notice a change in this blog from a perspective of someone who is striving to return to being abled to that of someone who is learning to accept that chronic illness and disability are (typically) permanent. In the beginning, I tried to be generic, thinking I could be all things to all people – that an impersonal, objective blog would appeal to the greatest audience. Obviously that didn’t work.

So, going forward, you’re going to experience more of who I am on this blog. Who I am is a military veteran who was accustomed to being highly competent, fit, and exceptionally healthy until several health conditions disrupted my entire life. I’m still coming to terms with that. In fact, dealing with waves of grief and frustration as I attempt to find meaning in my altered life may be the work of a lifetime.

So, if you want to read about the experiences of a person who transitioned from well to chronically ill and disabled starting in their thirties and accelerating in their forties and who is struggling with all that that entails, then please stick around, or hello and welcome. Even if you’re still healthy and abled, there might be more for you here than you think. And if you, yourself, are chronically ill/disabled? Well, you might not like all of the content either. After all, some people have been chronically ill/disabled from birth, or from early childhood. Listening to me whinge about having been fit & healthy and mourning its loss may not appeal to you either.

But what have I got to lose? My handful of followers? My zeros of earned income?

It’s not going to be easy for me to be more transparent about myself and my journey. The internet can be a harsh place – especially for marginalized community members. And some people will argue that I am not marginalized enough – that I still have many areas of privilege, which I do not deny. Hopefully some people will decide that they are interested in my journey and want to follow along.

Bottomline: In year six of this blog, the content is going to change a bit. You’re welcome to join, stick around, or wander off.

Updated Morning Checklist

Almost 6 years ago I posted a morning checklist. Back then it was a bit more wellness-oriented, but after a recent Twitter conversation I decided to update it to reflect my current chronic illness/disability lifestyle.

Morning-Health-Checklist-UpdatedDownload

I intend to print this one out and use it to help me to remember to do the important things I need to do to care for myself.

Currently, I find that I sometimes forget to take my famotidine (which I offset from my other morning meds because I find my H1 blocker is less effective if I take famotidine at the same time. [And yesterday I forgot to take ANY of my morning vitamins/supplements/medications!]

Without a checklist, I find that I often forget to do important parts of my health and hygiene routine – especially on bad brain fog days. So I am attempting, once again, to develop a habit of running checklists to make sure I’m accomplishing the important items. I plan to have not only a morning checklist and an evening checklist, but also weekly/monthly checklists that cover important items like washing my sheets, changing the air filters, and making sure the batteries in the smoke detectors are still good.

What do you think about using checklists as a memory aid? Have you ever tried it? Would you? Please share in the comments.